Okay, purely hypothetical... or something...
What is the proper way to respond when your friend asks if it's cool if he develop serious feelings for your ex?
And I mean to ask the question as an emotional thing, not as a procedural thing. I mean, assume that all the proper channels have been taken, none of those "unwritten rules" have been broken... On paper, it's all well and good...
BUT, in real life... wha? who? how? huh? <-- that was my reaction. I just don't know how to deal with that. I've never been in that sort of situation before. Basically all of my major relationships have ended because I've left... either I've left the school, or the city, or the state... regardless, I've totally left the sphere of influence of my ex... so whoever she ends up dating, I either a) never find out about it or b) don't know who the person is so the issue isn't so immediate. It all kind of happens "out there" and never "right here."
But when your friend brings up this notion, it's so in your face, right there, you can't ignore or hide from it or your reactions to said behavior. I mean, it's absolutely not fair for me to think I have any "dibbs" or anything on my ex because I don't feel that way and it wouldn't be right even if I did.
This is really an awkward situation. However, it's not something that doesn't happen all the time to people. I mean, we're all friends with people we're attracted to, on some level. Doesn't it make sense that people that you're friends with might be attracted (and attractive to) some of the same people who you have had relationships with? I think that totally makes sense... but it doesn't make it any less awkward.
Any advice on how to deal with this?
posted by phat tony 12:55 PM
Oh, and another thing...
I just booked a trip to LA for Spring Break!!! Yes people, I will be in southern cali from March 15th-22nd... I have no definite plans at all... all I know is that I will hopefully be on the beach for some of that time, maybe out at a club or something some of that time, chillin' with friends for most of that time... who wants to come with me?
posted by phat tony 5:53 PM
It has been about a bazillion years since I've blogged last.
Or maybe just 2 weeks.
Regardless, it's been awhile.
I'm so behind in my work. I can't get myself motivated to do it. It's all my fault. I mean, it's not like there's some substantial excuse I can fall back on. I mean, I HAVE been sick fairly often (3 times in a month and a half, what IS that?!?) but still. My room's messy... but that's not an excuse not to read essays regarding Foundations of the Regulatory State, is it?
I can't even blame dance anymore. Not that I minded blaming it before... Got Soul is fantastic. Moral of the story... if you're feeling down, join a dance group when you think it would never be possible to do that again. And have some Sam in it. And maybe some DeLes and Shmang. Oh, and some Thyda, Deanna, and TSO. AD is a good idea, as well as Pollack and Lynnko. Then have a gig a million miles away, perform for a milli-second, and then rush back to the humdrum of every day life. Look around the next Monday and wonder to yourself what the people around you were doing all weekend while you were on a road trip to dance on some random stage in the midwest. Delovely, for sure.
posted by phat tony 5:51 PM
sick again... we hate it.
posted by phat tony 10:03 AM
It's been a while since I've written anything of subtance... of course, whether I've EVER written anything of substance is another question entirely (one we will not be asking in the near future)...
Anyway, I'm in Ohio right now. Why? Because I have an interview at a mid-size firm in Columbus for a summer clerkship position. Wish me luck... I'm gonna need it. Something funny might happen there. I can't really talk about it now because it might not happen and then the story wouldn't be anything anymore. Remind me to tell you later. Regardless, I really want to do well at this interview... if I can get an offer from this firm... well, it'll make me feel better about my summer, just in general.
I've been feeling pretty crappy about law school recently... grades from last semester were released... let's just say it wasn't my shining moment. And now that I'm around all these not so subtle type A personalities to whom grades and tangible evidence of self worth is so important... well, it's all a bit annoying. Also, I've been attending lots of firm receptions (ploys for firms to get 1Ls drunk and be happy so that the students can transfer those positive feelings to thoughts about the firm itself... silly, but effective), and I chat it up with lots of associates and partners of NYC firms... they tell me that my grades my first semester are incredibly incredibly important... like the first semester ever in law school should be entirely representative of your intelligence. I hate it.
posted by phat tony 9:39 PM
